Are You Fully Prepared for Marriage? Have You Had These Important Discussions?
The United States has more divorces per population than any other country. Either couples are not fully prepared for marriage or they find the struggles of marriage too difficult to deal with. Marriage, if properly prepared for and with continual work, can be one of the best things you ever do. However, many couples do little in terms of preparation for marriage. If you are in the wedding planning process, be sure to leave aside time for marriage preparation that covers all of these important topics.
Finances
You are not just marrying your spouse, you are also accepting all of their income, finances, and debt. Yes, their debt will become your debt. Many couples go into marriage blindly and then they are surprised when they find out how much debt the other is in. By this point, you have already added to the debt with an expensive wedding and honeymoon and divorce can be just as expensive.
Financial and monetary troubles are one of the biggest causes of divorce today. One of the biggest problems is when two spouses deal with their financials differently. If you are unaware of your partner?s financial history and mindset when it comes to money, you are not ready for marriage. Sit down and have this necessary discussion, way before you ever consider walking down the aisle.
Family
You have probably heard the term that you are also marrying your spouse?s family. Your partner?s mother who is overbearing and judgmental will become an important part of your family. When you marry, you are accepting the other person?s family. This includes in law, step children, and other difficult family situations. Family and in law troubles are another extremely common cause of couples therapy. Some newlywed couples find it difficult to adjust to the change in family. Before marriage, discuss these family dynamic changes and consider any challenges that might arise.
Parenting views
Many couples marry with the plan of eventually raising a family together. Although it can be difficult to fully understand someone?s parenting views before the time for parenting comes, it is important to get a general idea. An important discussion that is often left out of marital talk is whether or not each partner even wants to be a parent. A lot of couples find themselves in couples therapy with little options when each has their own strong views on raising a family.
Individual mental health concerns
Approximately 50% of Americans with major depression do not seek treatment for the mental illness. Individual mental illnesses do not only affect the person, they also affect the entire family and especially the spouse. In most cases, marriage counseling is not as effective for individual mental health disorders, at least until the person has started their own form of individual counseling. Psychotherapy for mental illnesses, such as depression should be handled individually and then later, introduced into the couples therapy process.
Pre marital counseling
There are many problems that can arise in marriage that you never considered. It can be difficult and almost impossible to prepare for all of these issues. However, pre marital couples therapy can increase the discussion of some of these topics, as well as effective tools for handling discord in the marriage. In fact, after working with a marriage or family therapist, 93% of patients said they had more effective tools for dealing with their problems. Respondents also reported improved physical health and the ability to function better at work after attending therapy.
Couples therapy is extremely beneficial for developing healthy conflict resolution habits. It can also be a helpful tool after problems arise in the marriage. According to research done by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, over 98% of surveyed couples who underwent couple?s therapy reported that they received good or excellent help, and over 97% of those surveyed said they got the help they needed. Before you walk down to that alter and say I do, ensure that you are fully prepared for all that those two little words entail.
